Anna's guess coming up on the next page...
Wait. He knits, and he captures people in webs. He's... the Itsy Bitsy Spider! *A compartment opens in his forehead, revealing a spider manipulating levers in front of a computer screen*.
No, Susan, he CROCHE--oh wait you don't care.
@Nomen: Got it in one.
@Anonymous: Now all they need is a water spout...
@Alexis_Royce: After the election results, do my eyes count as water spouts?
@Guest: Mine did for awhile. But me and my wife here have pledged to be gayer than ever and stand strong <3 We'll be with you.